The 12 Tees of Christmas
12 T-Shirts you NEED to wear on Christmas Day
Picture the scene: It’s Christmas morning, the air is fresh, there’s no work today, the kids are playing with whatever Santa left them… time for you to make an entrance – but what to wear to get the perfect reaction for all ages? What Christmas t-shirts can you wear that will get the desired response of … “Ha! That’s so you!”
A t-shirt that gets your sense of humor, that you could wear to Christmas lunch with the in-laws AND in front of your friends at the bar afterwards. A tee that is available in Big & Tall sizes, you know, just in case you over-indulge at Christmas dinner. Well, read on for more.
I compiled a list of 12 t-shirts that should cover all bases! Check out the Xmas Societee for more inspo. So, to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas (hum it in your head).
I know it’s s’posed to be 12 drummers drumming, but bear with me on this. So drummers make me think of drumsticks, which make me think of chicken, which of course, if cultured at all, should be Popeye’s… boom! Got there! Popeye is always the family favorite and starred in numerous Christmas specials over the last 89 years (yup he old!) – the first of which is called Seasons Greetinks! (Google it bro.) So if you think “clever” wordplay and cartoons are what Christmas is all about, then I got you with this fun Popeye tee – he will deck your halls for you. And if you think that 12 drummers was a tricky fit for 12 days of Xmas, then read on as Sam tries to make the rest work.
So 11 pipers piping? I always imagined the pied piper to look something like Dee Snider 😀 and the 11 tracks on the Twisted Christmas album from ’06. Boom – he does it again! Anyways, if you want haunting Christmas songs, watch the video to track 2 Oh Come all ye faithful – you will NEVER see that song the same way again. If you love Rock and Christmas (isn’t that everyone?) this shirt is a no-brainer. Bonus points if you wear this tee to family Xmas AND show them the Christmas album.
10 Lords a-leapin? Look, if there is a Lord of Christmas, it has gotta be Lord Bing Crosby, I mean he is the old-school voice of Christmas. In 1945 Decca released the first Bing Crosby Xmas album called Merry Christmas with 10 festive songs (10 Lords… that works). In fact, he sang over 70 Christmas tracks, so every single Bing Crosby shirt is Christmas-oriented. If you ever find yourself “Binging” (see what I did there?) on festive music over the holiday season, be sure to do so wearing this dandy vintage style Bing Crosby tee.
Listen, 9 Ladies Dancin’ was never gonna fit, BUT if I had to pick one dancin’ lady, it has to be the ’90s spandex Queen herself Kelly Kapowski. She lit up the hearts of Americans everywhere with her girl-next-door looks and prom queen mentality. So why 9? She was the sitcom queen of the nine-tees – does that count? ‘Course it does! Have a Merry Kapowski!
You know that there cannot be a collection of Christmas tees without an honorable mention for It’s a Wonderful Life. The reason I chose 8 is for the $8,000 that were stolen from George Bailey that tipped him over the edge and basically formed the entire storyline. It’s a dark classic feel-good Christmas movie from a time that really needed it. I don’t know about you, but it also makes a pretty good life motto too.
Nerd alert, 7 swans swimming, reminds me of He-Man and She-Ra because in the first ever episode they went to the only pub in Eternia – the Laughing Swan. I am not making this up! When I was a kid I used to love to watch cartoons on Christmas morning and He-Man was my hero. If he was your hero as a kid, you can’t beat this festive He-Man T-Shirt, he’s got the power… to get through a full Xmas dinner with the in-laws!
The original WWF Golden Goose, the one and only, incomparable Macho Man Randy Savage. He brought showmanship, flair, tenacity, smack-talking and, dare I say, madness to the world of wrestling. IMHO he inspired a whole generation of wrestlers that came after him. The 6 is for Randy Savage’s 6 championship belts (2 in WWF and 4 in WCW). He was one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, but for me, he was the most memorable. Have a Macho Christmas, y’all.
All my bestselling Christmas tees last year were Ghostbusters (maybe due to the movie, idk). Some love Slimer, some feel festively plump like Marshmallow Man, but Egon was the master of them all. There were 5 Ghostbusters (because you HAVE to include Slimer as mascot). If you struggle in your search for Christmas Spirit (and love puns – this one works 3 ways), then this is the Christmas Tee for you. Best segue ever… If you need even more Christmas spirit, who you gonna call? (See below)
(See Above) If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can call … the A-Team (see what I did there!?). I genuinely pity the fool that’s on Mr. T’s naughty list. B.A Baracas was a bouncer, bodyguard and wrestler before he became an actor, and even then his first major role was a boxer opposite Sly Stallone’s Rocky. So it’s safe to say that if you ended up on Mr. T’s naughty list, you can expect worse than some coal in your stocking.
Back in 2001 MTV released an Xmas album: MTV: TRL Christmas containing a compilation of 16 covers of Christmas songs from famous acts. The album itself “peaked” at 162 on the billboard chart, BUT it did contain three Top 10 tracks from different performers including Weezer, NSYNC and Blink-182. Look, we had to get MTV into this selection – the shirts are just too damn cool. And if you like Xmas music, do you remember what happened Last Christmas?
The only cartoon that could get away with the characters describing different types of turd in detail – yep… it’s Beavis & Butthead. Even these teenage morons could appreciate that Christmas Rules! And if you grew up with B&B looking for TP then you can rock this tee for Xmas dinner
If you are a fan of Rock and of Xmas (that’s basically everyone) then Paul Stanley & Co. bring some glam rock to Christmas proceedings. This is frankly a cool shirt, of all my shirts I almost guarantee that this tee will get a reaction – whether you wear it to Christmas dinner or not (actually, if you don’t wear it at Xmas you will get a bigger reaction!). KISS love Xmas, they really do, they sang White Christmas and starred in their own Family Guy Xmas Special called KISS Saves Santa (fairly self-explanatory name). Merry KISSmas to everyone.
Still need more inspo?
The Ultimate Rock Xmas Tees
Check out the Xmas Societee to see them all
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The Ageless Appeal of NSYNC Well, it’s about time someone brought up NSYNC. I’ll have you know, those fellas left a mark that’s still as visible as the graphic on my favorite, old-school tees. They weren’t just some fleeting pop sensation, no siree, they were the real deal. Timberlake and his crew innovated pop music…
Drinkin n Dancin Sam’s TeeMail Saturday February 17th 2024 This weekend is Tampa’s famous Gasparilla festival and I’m heading to a buddy’s apartment in Ybor City for a Tequila tasting! 🥃 Am I totally uncultured ? But I have legit never heard of tequila tasting… drinking yes; shooting yes; but hey, I am open to learning new drinking techniques. If any…